Exploding Ovens

...and then there was the time when the oven exploded.
(one month after the generator caught fire, but I digress)

First, there was this text.
No explanation. Just a photo.

Of course, I remained completely calm and rational about the entire thing.
I mean, seriously, who knows what physicists might put inside an oven on any given day.

Amiright?

I submit to you Exhibit A.
(yeah it really did happen. Blah, blah, winter weather, poluyrethane needs to be applied at a certain temperature, blah blah...)

I submit that my response was perfectly reasonable.

#yeahitreallyhappened

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Time Dilation and Relativistic Stuff

Me: Look! I wrote a book!
Marty: *sigh* Yes, I know. Did you include the program I wrote for time dilation and the relativistic effects?
Me: The whatsits?

Marty: *sigh-h-h-h*

...are they still eating berries on the ship?
Real men drink bourbon. they don't eat berries.

You totally need to change that.

Me: I like berries.

Marty: You are such a girl.
Me: Well, DUH.

TAH-DAHHH! Book #2 in the Enfield Genesis series has a super evil bad guy in it, and he's Criminal Minds-worthy.

 #creepycreepycreepycreepy Bad Guy FTW! :-)

(Isn't Jason, the guy on the cover dreamy? You gotta love a guy that smoulders like that.)

Marty: I HEARD THAT! *glower*
Me: That's a glower not a smoulder. Try again....

If you love thrillers and you're into science fiction, why not check it out? The Kindle version goes on sale for 99¢ Sunday, August 19, 2018 through Thursday, August 23, 2018.

How a Physicist Drinks a Margarita

My Phone: *you have a text message!*


Marty's Text:

Me: OMG! IS THAT from the LAB?

Marty: It's a margarita. And fish tacos.

Me: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT'S BEEN?

Marty: Uhm. In the sea? I think it's cod.

Me: I MEAN THAT GLASS THINGY WITH THE NUMBERS.

Marty: WTF? Why are you in all caps?

Me: THIS IS ME BEING UPSET.

Marty: . . . . 


Me: WHAT IF THAT HAD RADIOACTIVE GOO IN IT OR SOMETHING?!?!?!

Marty: You did NOT just say GOO.

Me: I did! I DID! GOO. GOO!!!!!

Marty: You realize that I also have radioactive plates in the pantry. And salt shakers.

Me: OMG we're all going to die.

Marty: Well, yeah. We all do eventually.

Me: . . . .

#itsortahappenedthatway

True or False

Me: Whatcha doing?

Marty: Watching a YouTube video on how to true a wheel by differential tension on the spokes.

Me: TRUE a wheel? What, like you're confirming, "yes, this is truly a wheel?"

Marty: What? You make no sense.

Me: I rest my case.

"working on bike," Depositphotos.com

Me: I'll bet you dinner that guy doesn't once use the words "differential tension" in that video.

(watches for like an eternity ten seconds) 

See what I mean? You know, they have great yoga videos on YouTube.

Marty:  Do you mind?

Me: What?

Marty: I'm working here.

Me: You're awfully tense. Want me to pull up a yoga for stress video? YouTube has a ton of them.

#itsortahappenedthatway

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When a Physicist gets entrepreneurial

So this just happened:

Then this:

Seriously, every day is an adventure.

###

A Little Light Reading

Me: Wow, sweetie, your magazine could really use a makeover.
Marty: (looks down at tome) What do you mean?

Me: (flips through magazine) 

Well, just look! All the photos are bunched together ... there's practically no white space on any of the pages ... the aesthetic is all wrong. 

Me: I mean, really. Who puts black and white photos in a magazine these days, except for, like, some art publications?

Marty: Wh-- wha-- ???

Me: They should totally hire a graphics designer. And do they seriously expect anyone to actually read this much content?

Marty:  ...

Me: What?

Marty: There are no words.

#itsortahappenedthatway

###

Science Experiments Gone Wrong

Marty: Don't touch that grapefruit in the kitchen, okay? That's mine.
Me: O-o-okay...

Marty: And the egg. That's mine, too.
Me: Can I at least have some orange juice and a piece of toast?

Marty: Wha--?!? You make no sense.

(later that day...)

(notice nifty watch on left arm)

#yeahitreallyhappened

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