When a Physicist gets entrepreneurial

So this just happened:

Then this:

Seriously, every day is an adventure.

###

A Little Light Reading

Me: Wow, sweetie, your magazine could really use a makeover.
Marty: (looks down at tome) What do you mean?

Me: (flips through magazine) 

Well, just look! All the photos are bunched together ... there's practically no white space on any of the pages ... the aesthetic is all wrong. 

Me: I mean, really. Who puts black and white photos in a magazine these days, except for, like, some art publications?

Marty: Wh-- wha-- ???

Me: They should totally hire a graphics designer. And do they seriously expect anyone to actually read this much content?

Marty:  ...

Me: What?

Marty: There are no words.

#itsortahappenedthatway

###

Science Experiments Gone Wrong

Marty: Don't touch that grapefruit in the kitchen, okay? That's mine.
Me: O-o-okay...

Marty: And the egg. That's mine, too.
Me: Can I at least have some orange juice and a piece of toast?

Marty: Wha--?!? You make no sense.

(later that day...)

(notice nifty watch on left arm)

#yeahitreallyhappened

###

Three Myths (or not)

A Physicist's Vacation

 (cue summertime beach sounds: seagulls, ocean waves, sea breeze....)
 
Marty: Hey, cool, look! Double slit diffraction in action, right here.
Me: (laying on beach towel) Mmm...what?

Marty: The waves. The sandbar's location is creating a double-slit effect. Here, I'll show you...

(begins writing calculation in sand)

Marty: See? The waves are forming a perfect interference pattern.
Me: Oh, I see an interference pattern, all right. (looks pointedly at husband)

Marty: (looks up) No you don't, you're not even looking at the wav--

 Oh.


#yeahitreallyhappened

### 

A Physicist's Watch

Me: So Kristin was showing us her new Apple Watch at work today.
       You should totally get one.
Marty: Why?

Me: It does everything. It keeps time, it has a stopwatch on it, an alarm... It has a calculator --
Marty: Mine does too. See?
Me: Yeah but hers isn't 20 years old.

Marty: So what? Mine has tons of functionality.

Me: Yeah, but yours can't receive texts. Or keep track of the miles you run.
Marty: Technically, hers can't either. It's just synching with her phone.
Me: And it synchs with her phone, too! See what I mean?
 

#yeahthatsreallyhiswatch

###

Marty: Why would anyone want to read a text on their wrist anyway?
Me: Well there goes my only idea for your birthday present.

#hardtobuyfortoo

My Secret Stash

Marty: (yells from other room) Do we have any more smoke detectors?
Me: (yells back) ...what?
Marty: I'm collecting Americium. So do we have any more smoke detectors or not?

Yeah, that's a smoke detector, in pieces.

Me: (rounds corner) Yeah, there's one in the family roo-- WHAT are you doing?!?
Marty: I told you, collecting Americium.

There's hardly enough here to register on the Geiger counter. I need more.

Normal people hide boxes of Girl Scout cookies
- or maybe the 3 pound bag of peanut M&Ms  -
from their significant other.

Me? I hide smoke detectors.

#forreal

###

(geez, who knew they were radioactive anyway?)